


Under Pressure

by bitboozy



Series: Domesticated [47]
Category: Broadchurch
Genre: Angst, Established Relationship, F/M, Family, Gen, Post-Series, Romance, Work
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-18
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 22:15:02
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25363714
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bitboozy/pseuds/bitboozy
Summary: As a string of emergency situations pile up, Alec and Ellie become overwhelmed and begin shutting each other out.
Relationships: Alec Hardy & Ellie Miller, Alec Hardy/Ellie Miller
Series: Domesticated [47]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1550554
Comments: 113
Kudos: 111





	1. Chapter 1

“Possibly the worst detectives I’ve ever seen.”

Alec sits back on the couch with Ellie resting back on him. He’s got an arm around her and she’s got a baby asleep on her chest, face nestled between her breasts. Her knees are bent, feet tucked under the sofa cushion. She absently strokes Aila’s face and hair as they both stare at the television screen.

“…They’re not great,” Ellie agrees.

Aila had woken up, as usual, about two-three hours after initially going to sleep. Her parents had been very intensely watching the detective drama _The Fall_ and had simply brought her downstairs with them. For some reason, Aila has always been able to sleep despite the noise around her. Perhaps it was spending the first month in her life in the NICU, with all the beeping and occasional commotion.

“They could have arrested him five different times already,” Alec adds with frustration. “Bloody Belfast.”

“I like her outfits though.”

Ellie has always had the ability to focus on superficial things like entertainment when watching television, even when watching crime dramas. Alec cannot focus on anything but the case and the portrayal of the job.

“What?”

“Those silk blouses. Tight skirts. Quite sexy.”

“Oh.” He shrugs. “Yeah.”

Ellie yawns. “She’s like a sexy Jane Tennison.”

Alec frowns. “Jane Tennison was sexy!”

“Not like this.”

Aila makes a little gurgling noise and turns her head from one side to the other. Ellie pats her back gently.

She sighs. “Just two detectives in a sleepy town watching a drama about more _attractive_ detectives on telly while their baby dozes on them. This is our lives now.”

He grabs the remote and pauses the episode.

Alec scoffs. “What’re you talkin’ about, _more attractive detectives_?”

“Always more attractive on telly, it’s to be expected.” Ellie sits up a bit, careful not to disturb the baby. “Perhaps it’s just the outfits and the perfect telly hair. They don’t exactly look like real people, do they? What’s-her-name-Gillian-Anderson purportedly hasn’t slept in days and yet _someone_ has managed to take a bloody curling wand to her hair twice a day. Not very realistic. And to that end, _criminals_ are _never_ that attractive, my god. If serial killers looked like Jamie Dornan – “

“Then what?” Alec challenges her.

A mischievous smile creeps over her face. “Then you’d best not leave me alone in an interview room with him.”

“ _Ellie_.”

She laughs. Aila stirs. “Shh, shh, baby.”

“Should’ve put her down right when she fell back asleep,” Alec tells her.

“But she’s so warm and cuddly and smells so nice.” She sniffs Aila’s dark, feathery hair. “My snuggly cuddly baby.”

“Could be internalizin’ all this murder stuff.”

Ellie raises an eyebrow. “Yeah and she could’ve been internalizin’ all the criminal acts we dealt with when I was pregnant too. She’s the child of high-ranking detectives, she’s made of tougher metal than that.”

Alec grumbles a bit and grabs the remote again. “Let’s finish this episode and go to bed.”

*

Ellie puts her book down on her lap and looks straight ahead.

“Do you realize you’ve only ever been married to detectives?”

He does not put his book down. “Mm-hm.”

“And only ever lower-ranking detectives.”

He puts his book down. And pulls off his glasses.

“You say this like I’ve been married to ten or fifteen different women. It’s just two.”

“Yeah, two out of two.” She looks at him. “Some kind of boss complex maybe.”

He raises an eyebrow. “Ellie, at hardly any point in the time I’ve known you have you allowed me to act like your boss.”

“Only ‘cause I’m _right_ most of the time,” she argues. Then she tilts her head to the side. “Like, is it a fetish thing, do you think?”

He stares at her. “What.”

“What?”

Alec shakes his head then puts his glasses back on and picks up his book again. She picks up hers as well. A few minutes of quiet.

“Right, I’m knackered,” she announces, snapping her book shut.

She turns onto her side, placing the book on her nightstand then picking up her mobile to set an alarm. Alec tosses his own book on his nightstand then rolls over to her sneakily, deciding to seize the opportunity before him. He puts his arm around her and starts kissing her neck.

“Perhaps it _is_ a fetish,” he murmurs.

He presses his body flush against hers and slips his hand underneath her t-shirt.

“ _You’re_ my fetish.” He squeezes her breast.

Ellie giggles. “I’m not a fetish, I’m a _person_.”

He sucks on her earlobe. “Then how come my only fetish is _you_.”

“Bloody daft,” she laughs, leaning back and relaxing into his warm body.

He stretches out the collar of her shirt so he can suck a mark into her shoulder blade.

“Love, I’m exhausted,” Ellie complains half-heartedly. “So unless your fetish is exhausted wives…”

He begins to knead her breast and slips one leg in between hers. “Just a quick one,” he begs her.

“Ooh nothing more tantalizing to a woman than _a quick one_ ,” she quips.

His erection presses insistently into her back and she hates that she finds that so sexy. She finds it incredibly arousing simply to be desired so badly.

“Please.” He sticks his tongue in her ear.

She relents as he begins to rub against her. “Just quickly then.”

Ellie moves onto her back and in one swift motion pulls off her pyjama bottoms and her knickers. He pulls down his boxers and moves on top of her. With a pleased groan, he pushes up her shirt and takes her breast into his mouth.

“Babe,” she chokes out. “Condom.”

Alec moans unhappily and crawls across the bed to grab the basket of condoms from underneath his side. “What d’you want?”

“Just the normal one, we’re not going for the gold or anything tonight.”

He grabs a _Barely There_ condom. “Could you sound _more_ unenthused?”

“Sorry.” She beckons to him with her arms. “C’mere.”

He crawls back over to her and opens the packet. She takes the condom from him and rolls it on. He moves over her as she spreads her thighs wide, then he pushes inside her.

“Oh,” Ellie exhales.

“Good?”

She lifts her hips into him and closes her eyes. “Mm."

“Good.” He kisses her cheek, then his lips travel down to her face and shoulder and he buries his face there.

She runs her fingertips up and down his back, lightly scratching him with her nails, just the barest of sensations that drives him wild. He keeps a hand on her left breast, gently squeezing it and playing with her nipple. Ellie raises one leg and hooks it over his waist, the heel of her foot pushing into his tailbone. He sucks hard on her clavicle and thrusts into deeper into her.

“Yeah,” she breathes out. 

“Like that?” He mutters into her skin.

“Mmmm.”

He raises his head and brings his lips to hers, immediately parting them with his tongue.

Then there’s a mobile ringing, its annoying trill piercing the air in a way that makes them both want to smash it against the wall. Ellie starts to stir.

“Leave it,” he pleads, kissing her throat.

Both Tom and Daisy are home, otherwise they’d both have leapt for it.

“Must be important, it’s after eleven,” Ellie argues.

Her arm reaches out and she feels around her nightstand for it. She raises her head and squints her eyes.

“Unknown.”

Alec groans. In their world, _unknown_ usually means _hospital_ , _morgue_ , or _county jail_. He painstakingly pulls out of her and rolls to the side.

She presses the mobile to her ear. “Hello. Yes, this is Eleanor Hardy, who’s – oh.” She sits up. “Yes. When? All right. All right. I’ll be right there. Thank you.”

Ellie jumps out of bed, tossing the mobile down. She starts pulling clothing out of drawers. “Dad’s in hospital. He’s had an aneurysm, they’re taking him to theater for an emergency surgical procedure.”

Alec moves quickly out of bed, retrieving his own clothes. “Did they say what sort? How bad is it?”

“…Aortic or something.”

As she pulls on a pair of yoga pants, she remembers that these are the moments when it was nice to be married to someone in the medical profession. Not only because he could give her more explanation than doctors and nurses could on the phone, but because he knew how to calm her. He had an extraordinary bedside manner, so to speak.

“That’s related to the heart?” Alec says.

“I don’t know.”

She throws a bra on then pulls a thin jumper on over it. He’s managed jeans and a t-shirt. Not what he normally would have chosen but they were the most available to him.

“You should stay here.” She looks at herself in the mirror, rubs her face, then gathers her hair up messily into a ponytail.

“Stay here?!” He places his hands on his hips. The very idea is preposterous to him.

“The kids.”

Alec sits down on the bed, putting his shoes on. “Daiz and Tom are here, they’re fine. We’ll wake Daiz – she’s probably up anyway – and just give her the baby monitor.”

“But if you stay then we don’t have to upset them,” Ellie says, slipping each foot into a pair of flats.

“El, I’m not lettin’ you go alone, certainly not lettin’ you _drive_.”

She whirls around to face him suddenly. “Alec, truthfully? You don’t do well at hospitals and you’re quite frankly a lot of work.”

He stares at her, dumbfounded.

“I’m sorry but you get cranky and irritable and you have no patience whatsoever.” Then she searches the bed for her mobile. “I don’t have time to argue.”

“I’m goin’ with you.”

She stares at him, exasperated.

“I’ll be better, I promise.”

She shakes her head and rushes out of the room. He follows. As she jogs down the stairs, he says, “Just bringin’ the monitor up to Daiz. Do not get in that car without me, Ellie.”

He runs up the stairs to Daisy’s attic room and knocks on the door.

“Come in.” As suspected, she’s still awake.

“Granddad’s in hospital, darlin’,” he says. “El and I are headin’ over. Can you keep an eye on the wee ones?”

Daisy is overwhelmed, blinking at him. “….Yeah, ‘course. Is he okay?”

“Ring you later.” He hands over the monitor and kisses her cheek. “Must go before Ellie drives herself into a lamp post.”

*

He’s learned not to touch her when she’s deep in her emotions. She doesn’t like to be startled out of them or distracted from them. She feels things deeply and wholly. If she doesn’t fully experience her feelings, if she gets interrupted somehow, she gets to feeling like she’s forgotten something. Much as he’s often desperate to hold her, touch her, comfort her through it all, he understands now that that is what _he_ needs, not what she needs. He’s not going to smother her just because it’ll make _him_ feel better.

And so, in the car, he keeps his hands to himself as she stares blankly out the window. He stays more or less silent.

Then, walking into the A&E, she reaches for his hand. He simply holds it, without adding any embellishment, and lets her lead.

They’re sent to a few different wings before they actually find the right reception desk.

“Mrs. Hardy, your father is still in theater, but if you’d like to wait, his doctor will update you when they’re finished.”

“Ta,” Ellie replies distractedly.

She just stands there, a bit lost. He tugs lightly on her hand and leads her to an empty row of chairs.

“No.” She shakes her head. “Can’t sit, too much energy. Will you go get me a coffee? Or a tea? Whichever looks less disgusting.”

He looks at her for a moment, determining whether or not he feels comfortable leaving her alone, then he goes. Ellie pulls out her mobile and dials Lucy.

“ --- Sorry, just me. Are you – no, Luce, listen. Dad’s in hospital. Aneurysm of some kind, they’ve got him in theater now operating on…something, honestly I’ve no idea. When Alec comes back I’ll make him google it all, it’ll keep him busy. Right. You know how he is. No idea how long. They called me about thirty minutes ago so it can’t have been long since they started. I don’t _know_ , Lucy, I reckon they’d have called you next. Probably just because I’m a police officer, what do I know. Just get over here. Yeah, all right. Oh, and if you go past the all night Tesco – exactly, yes, ta. Right. Bye then.”

Alec is standing there holding out a paper cup of tea. She takes it with a grateful smile and finally sits. He stands, waiting to be sure she’s actually going to _stay_ seated, then sits down beside her.

“It’ll be all right, you know.” He pats her hand.

“Yeah.”

*

Lucy arrives with a Tesco bag filled with crisps and various sweets. She drops it on the chair beside Alec and goes to hug her sister.

“Who found him?” Lucy asks, as she then goes to Alec and they kiss on the cheek.

“No idea,” Ellie replies. She reaches into the Tesco bag and pulls out a packet of Smarties. “Thanks, by the way.”

This appears to be a tradition of some sort, Alec notes. He wonders if it’s from when their mother was ill or if it dates back farther. Lucy sits down across from them and begins to stuff her face with Turkish Delight, of all things. He peers into the bag with mild horror.

“Possibly a neighbour? They may have heard him fall?” Ellie conjectures.

“Must’ve been a helluva fall then, he’s not a large man.”

Two text chimes pierce the air simultaneously, both Alec and Ellie’s mobiles. Alec picks up his.

“What were you doing when I called?” Ellie asks her sister, then downs a mouthful of smarties.

“I had a very handsome man in my bed, I’ll have you know.” Lucy crosses one leg over the other and leans back.

Ellie snorts. “Ha! Well technically, so did I.”

Alec straightens and clears his throat. “Daisy says Fred’s up, had a nightmare.”

“Poor love.” Ellie looks at him sympathetically.

“Says he won’t go back to sleep unless he’s in our bed.”

Ellie sighs, leaning forward, elbows on her knees, and rubs her face. Then sits up again. “Will he sleep in _her_ bed?”

“…I’ll ask.” Alec types.

Ellie looks back at Lucy. “Well who is he?”

“Mate of work mate. Nice bloke actually.”

“First date?”

Alec leans toward Ellie. “She says it won’t do.”

She groans loudly in response, then stands, shaking out her frustration. “Well what are we to do then? He’s just going to have to tough it out, isn’t he. Tell her he can just read to himself in bed until we get back.”

Alec glances down at the mobile then back at her. “Well who knows when we’ll be – “

“Exactly, he’ll be asleep in less than hour, guarantee it. Twenty minutes more likely.”

“All right.” He types again.

Lucy leans toward her sister conspiratorially. “Third date actually.”

Ellie’s eyes widen. “ _Really_ , well done.”

Alec listens to Ellie and Lucy gab for a while. Another coping mechanism, it seems like. They chatter and jabber away at each other about inane things, hardly stopping to breathe. He keeps his eyes trained on his mobile, googling just about everything about _aortic aneurysms_ as he can find while half-listening to them. He’s truthfully not sure how much time has passed when a doctor emerges from behind the double doors.

“Mrs. Hardy?”

Ellie bolts up, then Lucy, followed by Alec.

“Yes.”

The doctor looks at Lucy quizzically.

“Ah, this is my sister Lucy and my husband, Alec.”

The doctor nods. After introducing himself, he overloads them with information about David’s condition, including quite a bit of background on the thoracic aortic aneurysm, until the sisters become impatient. Risk factors include advanced age, tobacco use, and high blood pressure, all of which apply to David.

“In aortic dissection, a tear occurs in the wall of the aorta. This causes bleeding into and along the aortic wall and, in some cases, completely outside the aorta,” the doctor tells them. “A complication of aortic aneurysms is the risk of blood clots. Small blood clots can develop in the area of the aortic aneurysm. If a blood clot breaks loose from the inside wall of an aneurysm, it can block a blood vessel elsewhere in your body, putting him a much greater risk for a stroke.”

Lucy looks at him, overwhelmed. “That’s how our mother died.”

Ellie nods. “It was a – brain aneurysm though.”

The doctor explains that their plan is to do open chest surgery to repair it and remove the damaged section of the aorta to replace it with a synthetic tube. “If all goes well, your father should recover fully within a month or so.”

“When will you do it?” Ellie asks.

“In the morning, early. As soon as our surgeon arrives.”

“Will we be able to see him before that?” Lucy questions.

He nods. “Briefly. I’ll have a nurse come for you in about ten minutes or so. You can pop in, let him know you’re here.”

They thank the doctor and he disappears through the double doors from whence he came.

After a moment, Alec says, “Frankly would’ve liked a better explanation than _that_."

Lucy and Ellie both stare at him incredulously. He opens his mouth to elaborate, then remembers Ellie’s claim about his behavior in hospital. He’s been doing well so far, why ruin it. He sits down. Lucy and Ellie return to each other.

“Seems fairly optimistic, doesn’t he?” Lucy says.

“Yeah, didn’t seem too worried.” Ellie nods, wringing her hands together. “And his health’s been good up until now, aside from the high blood pressure, so at least he’s not already in a weakened state.”

“Right.”

Both Alec and Ellie’s mobiles ping again. Alec picks his up.

“Baby’s up.”

Ellie turns to him, then closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. “And.”

“Won’t take a bottle apparently.”

“Christ, can not _everything_ happen at once? Just for one night?” She groans in frustration.

“Hate to leave Daisy with all this,” Alec points out.

Ellie places her hands on her hips. “Well has Fred fallen back asleep?”

“Hasn’t said.”

“Have Daisy hand Aila off to Tom, he’s been good with her lately.”

“ _Daisy’s_ good with her.”

“Well, I know that, but it’s obviously not working, is it.”

Lucy bounces on her heels a moment, then interjects, “Gonna go get us all some coffee.” Then she makes herself scarce.

In silence, they watch Lucy go, then turn back to each other.

“You go then,” Ellie states neutrally.

“And leave you here.” Alec is dubious.

“What do you think I’m going to do, set the place on fire?” Ellie retorts. “It’s fine. Luce is with me. Go see to the kids. I said you ought to stay home anyway, didn’t I?”

He regards her wearily, unsure how to respond.

“Fine.” He rubs his temple. “You don’t want me here as it is, I’ll go.”

“Good.” With a huff, she sits back down in her chair and pulls a Mars bar out of the Tesco bag.

Alec’s mobile rings. He lets out a deeply disgruntled sigh and picks it up.

“What,” he barks into the receiver. “Sorry, yeah, go on. Where. Christ. Is there an estimated TOD yet? All right. Right. Yeah, I’ll be over. Give me twenty minutes or so, I’ll meet you there. I’ll tell her but it’ll just be me for now. Yeah.” He hangs up.

Ellie is watching him with concern. “What is it?”

“Dead body on the railroad tracks in the woods behind the Bates farm. Limbs tied up, real Old West sort of scene.”

Her mouth pops open. “You’re _joking_.”

He raises an eyebrow.

“Jesus christ.” She drops her head into her hands. After about ten seconds, her frustration propels her to standing. “Jesus _christ_.”

“I have to go,” he says to her, looking down at his shoes.

She looks at him blankly for a them, then exhales, resigned. “I’ll go to the kids after I pop in to say hello to Dad. I’ll tell Daisy to be patient and thank her.”

“All right.”

“All right. You’ll ring me?”

He nods. “Yeah.”

He leans forward, squeezes both of her arms, and kisses her on the cheek. Then he stalks off down the hallway.

Ellie crumples into a ball in her chair.

*

David looks terrible. Worse than they expected, as one can never quite prepare themselves adequately to see a loved one in peril. He’s pale, haggard, and looks much older than his seventy-some years. Every part of him seems to be hooked up to some kind of tube or wire.

In the doorway, Ellie grabs Lucy’s hand as they enter.

“Hi, Daddy,” Lucy says in a high-pitched voice. Ellie has never really called him Daddy, for whatever reason. Lucy always did as a child and as an adult in heightened moments.

They approach his bedside.

“All right, my girls?” He manages to croak out. He clears his throat.

“How are you feeling, Dad?” Ellie asks.

He holds a hand out. Both Lucy and Ellie reach for it, then attempt to share it.

“Oh, can hardly feel a thing, who can complain?” He coughs a bit.

Ellie smiles. “Got you good and drugged up, eh?”

“As god intended.”

Lucy looks at him intently. “D’you remember what happened then?”

David shakes his head almost imperceptibly. “Remember watching a bit of telly. Went to sneak a biscuit or two before turning in. That’s all.”

Ellie cautiously perches on the edge of his mattress. “Any idea who might’ve found you and called 999?”

“Sally, I suspect.”

Lucy and Ellie turn to each other, frowning. Then slowly turn back to David.

“…Sally?” Lucy asks, trying to be gentle.

“Oh.” David swallows, his gaze softening and turning away.

Ellie leans in. “Dad?”

Lucy’s eyes widen as a realization dawns on her. “Have you got a _girlfriend_?!”

David sputters a bit, unable to find the words he needs.

“You have!” Lucy exclaims.

“Well where the hell is she then?!” Ellie demands.

“…She’s not here?” David blinks.

“She’s bloody well not,” Ellie answers. “Not unless she wears a sodding invisibility cloak.”

David manages to snort. For a while, back when he’d moved into the Miller home, he’d been reading _The Prisoner of Azkaban_ to Fred.

“ _Dad_ ,” Lucy complains.

“I don’t know then,” he replies simply, seeming relatively unbothered. “How should I know?”

“How long has this been going on?” Ellie questions.

It’s then that the nurse interrupts, informing them that their time is up. Ellie and Lucy are left flabbergasted. But there’s no time for that.

“…We’re here, Dad,” Ellie says. “We’ll see you after the surgery.”

“Everything’s going to be just fine, you hear?” Lucy adds.

He nods. “Your mother’s watching,” he says. “I’ve got people on both sides, you know. I’m all right either way.”

Lucy and Ellie are frowning as they are ushered out of the room.

*

It’s 3am when Ellie steps through the front door of her house.

“Dad?” Daisy calls down the stairs.

“It’s me,” Ellie calls back wearily.

She walks up the stairs slowly, taking one step at a time. Daisy is standing in the hallway holding Aila, whose face is red and tear-stained.

Fred comes running out of his room. “Mumma Mumma Mumma.” He crashes into her legs.

Aila anxiously leans forward and holds out her arms to Ellie. She takes a breath then pulls the baby into her arms.

“Daiz, I’m sorry.”

Fred looks up at her. “Mumma, I had a bad dream.”

 _Hours ago_ , Ellie thinks. Though truthfully she has no idea how many. “I’m sorry, my sweet.”

“How is he?” Daisy asks, yawning exhaustedly.

“Where were you?!” Fred demands to know.

“Just working, love.” Then to Daisy: “Speak to you in the morning. All okay for now.”

Daisy nods, doesn’t fight her, and trudges up the stairs to the attic. Ellie turns to watch her.

“Daiz, where’s Tom?”

The girl shrugs. “Couldn’t wake him.”

Ellie groans. She looks down at Aila, who has snuggled into her and looks quite comfortable.

“Mumma, need to sleep with you.”

“All right, come on then.” She starts toward her bedroom. “Everyone in Mum and Dad’s bed.”

“Is Daddy still at work?” Fred asks, following her dutifully.

“Yeah.”

They crawl into the bed together and Ellie pulls up the duvet. Aila sleeps on her chest while Fred clings to her side. In the darkness, she pulls out her mobile and sets an alarm for 7am to head back to the hospital. She also sends a text to Beth:

**Sorry for wee hours text. Dad in hospital plus major work situation. Any chance you can help with the kids in the morning until Molly arrives?**

There’s nothing from Lucy. Nothing from Alec. She puts her mobile away and tries to fall asleep to the soothing sounds of her children’s measured breathing.

*

She’s already awake again when the alarm goes off. She has no idea how much she actually slept. In and out of various fogs and reveries, unconscious and yet fully aware of herself lying in bed. Her two little ones still cling to her, fast asleep.

She feels for her mobile and picks it up, glancing at the screen with bleary eyes.

From Beth: **There by 7:30.**

No other messages.

With practiced dexterity, she manages to extricate herself from Fred while holding onto Aila. She tucks Fred in by himself – he’s utterly dead to the world – and then puts the groggy baby on the floor while she changes clothes.

Aila rocks back and forth a bit before faceplanting on the carpet, still half asleep. Ellie changes into a sleeveless blouse and black jeans. Professional enough to go into work, comfortable enough to sit in a hospital waiting room for hours on end. She splashes some water on her face, cleans her teeth, then scoops up the baby and heads downstairs.

Yawning, she tosses two pieces of bread in the toaster and puts the kettle on. She stands at the counter, waiting, her body heavy and longing to return to her bed. Aila, on her hip, starts pulling at the buttons of her blouse and mouthing at her breasts through the thin fabric of it. Ellie pours the hot water into a travel mug with a teabag, then goes to sit at the table while it steeps.

She’s nursing the baby when Beth arrives, using her key.

“In the kitchen!” Ellie calls out.

“One mo.”

Ellie can easily tell what’s happening. Beth is plopping four-year-old Lizzie on the couch and switching on the telly. Then she appears.

“You’re an angel,” Ellie says immediately.

“That’s all right.” Beth shrugs. “Have you slept?”

“Unclear.” She lets out a short, self-deprecating laugh. “I’ll be off as soon as this one’s had her fill. Molly should be here by 8:45 so it won’t be for long.”

The toast pops up. Beth goes to it.

“Jam?”

“Peanut butter. I need the protein,” Ellie replies. “Bless you.”

Beth prepares the toast and then wraps it in foil. She puts a splash of milk and two sugars into the travel mug, just the way Ellie likes it.

Aila sits up, looking around, now alert and babbling. Ellie fastens herself up and then pats her back. Beth holds out the mug and toast to her.

“Swap?”

Ellie takes what’s offered. Beth takes Aila. Aila looks up at Beth’s face curiously. It’s a familiar one, for certain, she knows Beth fairly well. But even she seems to know this day is an aberration.

“Oh, you and your bloody _lashes_ ,” Beth scoffs, bouncing her a bit.

“Me off,” Ellie says, throwing back some tea. She smooches Aila cheek. “Be good, sweet girl. Thank you so much, Beth.”

“Off you go then.”

*

Lucy is asleep across three chairs in the hospital waiting room when Ellie wakes her.

“Not one bloody text the whole night!”

Lucy rubs her eyes like a child and sits up, wincing. “Was nothing to report. What d’you want to me do, text you and say there’s nothing to report?”

“Yes!” Ellie exclaims. “For all I knew your mobile was dead and so was our father!”

Lucy ignores her glibness and stretches her arms. “Surgery’s still got a few hours to go yet.”

Impatient, frustrated, and truthfully just overwhelmed, Ellie pulls out her mobile and stares at it. Then shoves it away again.

“Go to work,” Lucy grumbles at her. “I’ll ring you when he’s out of theater.”

“I want to _be here_ when he’s out of theater.”

Lucy stares at her. “You don’t trust me to speak to the doctor?”

“I just want to hear it all for myself.”

Lucy sighs. It’s not worth a row right now. “Procedure’s meant to go another three hours. So go to work for two hours.”

Ellie starts pacing a bit, watching her feet as she does. “Not that I s’pose it matters, I’ve not heard a word from the almighty Chief Inspector all night, have I.”

“He’s _busy_ , El.”

“We’re meant to be busy _together_.”

Lucy stands, stretching out, her stiff joints cracking. “You’re not _there,_ are you? So _go_.”

“Fine, then.” Ellie stands with her hands on her hips. “I will.”

“Good.”

“Good.”

“ _Go_.”

*

CID is all a-bustle, predictably so. Ellie feels a slight surge of energy upon entering the highly charged environment. Even exhausted and overwhelmed, she does love her job.

She finds Alec in the conference room along with Katie, Donald, and a few DCs. Katie is at the whiteboard, outlining a web of possible suspects.

“All right, El?” Donald looks up when she enters the room.

Ellie nods, going straight to Alec’s side. He’s seated at the table. He glances at her once and then a second time, as if he’s just remembered the outside world exists.

“What’re you doin’ here?”

She can’t tell if he’s concerned or annoyed. She’s just spent the last few hours with his children clinging to her relentlessly while her father’s in critical condition, receiving zero updates from _him_ , and he seems to have little sense of any of it. This irritates her.

“My bloody _job_ ,” she retorts. “That all right with you?”

“This is too much, El,” Alec says to her quietly, his expression now clearly one of concern. From his seated position, his hand goes to the small of her back.

“Dad’s in theater another few hours, update me."

Frankly, they haven’t got time to update her. He stops himself from saying as much.

“You should go back to hospital with Lucy.”

Her eyes widen and she blinks at him. “Are you shutting me out?”

“You can’t do your best work right now.”

“ _Can’t_ I? Oh, all right then, thanks for telling me.”

Ellie sees him make a decision, though she cannot quite interpret what it is until he says it out loud.

“Haven’t got the time to argue,” he says a bit gruffly, turning back to the stack of mugshots on the table. “Go back. We’ll speak later.”

Ellie’s mouth pops open in surprise as she instinctively begins backing away from him. The other detectives in the room are actively avoiding looking at both of them. After icily staring daggers at him, daggers which he does not see, she angrily stalks out of the room.

Her mobile rings at she’s charging out of CID full speed.

She brings it to her ear. “ _What_.”

“El.” It’s Lucy. “You should get over here. Now.”

*


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, I'm not a doctor and I'm not a detective, but that should goes without saying. My interest in casefics is extremely limited as I truly only care about the impact on the relationships, and ditto the medical stuff. I try to stay within the confines of what I understand so/but if it's not accurate, I'm not especially bothered and I hope you aren't either. As always, thanks for reading!

Alec had arrived at the crime scene in his gray Ramones t-shirt and jeans. He hadn’t even thought of it, hadn’t noticed. On the drive his mind had been rushed by thoughts of Ellie and his father-in-law mingled with curiosities about the case he was gearing up to lose himself in. It was only when his colleagues, detectives and uniform alike, had immediately gawked at him in shock and horror that he realized. His beat up trainers. The mussed up hair. And, most horrifyingly, no tie.

His colleagues had never, ever seen him that way.

He’d brushed it off. It had been his only choice in the moment. “What’re you tossers lookin’ at,” he’d said, moving past them to the railroad tracks.

It was a gruesome sight. He was grateful Ellie was not there to see it. She’d only have to see it in photos at this point. This, coupled with her father’s tenuous health, was _all_ she needed.

After about two hours sniffing around the scene, he’d finally gone back to CID and changed into his spare suit, hanging on the back of his office door. He was relieved, but not as relieved as his colleagues seemed to be. They were much more at ease with the Alec Hardy they knew.

It had felt odd, at first, launching into an investigation without Ellie by his side. It’d been so long since he’d done it. But things were progressing too quickly for any of those thoughts to linger and he’d soon fallen down the rabbit hole, Ellie or no Ellie. He’d hardly even been able to spare a thought for his ailing father-in-law as he toiled into the wee hours of the morning.

When she’d shown up around 8:30 in the morning, it had been jarring somehow. As if he’d been in the rabbit hole for weeks on end and had forgotten what she looked like. Her presence was immediately a _distraction_ – it opened the door to thoughts of her father’s condition, of their row at the hospital, of their children awake in the night needing them. He could not process those thoughts now. He had a job to do. And time was of the essence.

He’d felt a brief flash of guilt after she’d stalked off. But he was quickly pulled under the quicksand once more.

*

The surgery took a lot out of David Barrett. They’d completed the procedure but needed to induce him into a coma to stabilize him. The next several hours are crucial.

This is the summary of what Ellie and Lucy retained from David’s doctors. They tried to make sense of it but the best they could do was accept that there was little for them to understand aside from the fact that they had to wait. They simply had to wait.

Lucy retreats to her chair, staring off silently, occasionally rubbing her face. Ellie remains standing, teeming with nervous energy. She has no idea to do with herself. Neither one of them does.

In such a moment as this, Ellie might have decided to distract herself with work. But Alec had taken that off the table. And to be with the kids would only be to _worry_ the kids. Her poker face is not and has never been excellent. Better than Alec’s, but still questionable.

Lucy decides, bolting up suddenly, that she needs to take a walk and clear her head. Get some food. Hydrate. Ellie encourages this heartily – she finds, oddly enough, that she’d like to be alone.

She’s never alone, she realizes. Never. Even once Lucy leaves, she’s technically still not alone, being in a busy hospital, but she feels more alone than she has in…possibly years. In a good way. Not since she’d taken that boat tour alone on their honeymoon in Mallorca, she reasons. And again, she had not _truly_ been alone. But alone enough.

Ellie has absolutely no idea how she feels about this. As her brain tries to delve into the details, she shuts it off and makes a mental note to discuss it with her therapist in a few days.

She decides she needs to work. _Needs_ to. She pulls out her mobile and checks her email. She’ll be able piece at least an incomplete update together that way. The pieces are horrifying. And, as she’s scrolling through her email, a new one appears at the top. According to the information therein, there had been _another_ murder of the same like, discovered after the 9:24 London train had passed through.

 _In broad daylight_.

It was entirely possible they had a serial killer in their midst.

And a bold one too.

*

By noon, she’s started to develop a theory about the motive, though she has no suspect in mind. She’s been corresponding with Katie and Donald via text as well as keeping up with her emails. If Alec thinks he’s going to play the boss card on her today of all days, he is quite mistaken. It’s as if he does not know her at _all_. Perhaps he thinks the situation with her dad will distract her but he could not be more wrong. All the hours of waiting, the agonizing uncertainty, it only makes her more determined to contribute to the case. She must, after all, exercise control over _something_. Just like it was working on Sandbrook during Joe’s trial. If she has to do her job from a waiting room in the Wessex County Hospital, she will do exactly that.

*

“S’pose we should go?”

Daisy and Tom are sitting on the front steps of the porch drinking coffee. Neither one has been awake for more than an hour. Daisy because she was up half the night with the little ones and Tom simply because he’s sixteen and it’s summer and he could sleep ‘til supper if he wanted to.

Tom shrugs. “Odd that Mum’s not texted. Or your dad.”

“Maybe there’s no news,” Daisy reasons.

“If things were bad they’d call for us surely? Like if we had to…say goodbye or whatnot.” The thought gives him chills but he does his level best not to show it.

“Yeah.” She takes a sip of her coffee. “Was weird though that your mum came back last night and not Dad. She told Fred he’s at work, I assumed she was just deflecting. Maybe he actually is.”

“Text him then.”

Daisy pulls out her mobile.

*

Their only witness so far, for either murder, is the train conductor of the 9:24 to London. He’s an Irish man in his mid-fifties and, though entirely keyed up by the event and eager to assist, he has little to report. It all happened so fast. He’d barely caught a glimpse of the victim, tied up and kneeling on the railroad track, before it was too late.

Alec and Katie spend an hour in the interview room with him before giving up.

By early afternoon, Alec is sitting in his office staring at the wall. Deeply, intensely, burning a hole through it.

If Ellie were here, she’d be forcing him to eat. Chattering away about her latest theory. Disturbing his train of thought. No pun intended, ugh.

He picks up his mobile and thinks of texting her. He’s gotten no update on David’s condition since he left the hospital around 3am.

But then Hal and Brian come bursting into his office.

*

Lucy returns to the hospital waiting room around 1pm to find Ellie on her mobile, pacing back and forth. She takes a seat next to the Tesco bag that is now twelve hours old and digs through it to see what’s left. Bloody licorice. Why did she even buy it in the first place? She bites off a piece and chews it miserably.

“No, don’t tell him,” Ellie is demanding avidly into the receiver. “That it came from me, I mean. Yeah, right. Yeah, go on then. Bye.”

Lucy is blinking at her. “What’s going on?”

“Nothing.” Ellie sits beside her and scowls at the licorice. “Why do you always do that?”

Lucy shrugs. “Was Mum’s favourite.”

“Right.” Ellie snaps off a bite and grimaces.

“What’re you doing?”

“Solving a double murder from our father’s deathbed.”

Lucy elbows her. “Don’t say _that_!”

“Sorry. Nothing from anyone, by the way. No doctors, no nurses.”

“Maybe they came in and then went running for the hills when they found you barking orders into your mobile,” Lucy suggests.

Ellie reaches for the chair across from her and drags it forward, then propping her feet up on it. “Have a nice little kip?”

“Yeah, not much of one. Did eat an entire frozen pizza though.”

“More than _I’ve_ done,” Ellie replies. She looks at the time on her mobile. “S’pose Alec’s not eaten either. I swear he’d die of malnourishment if I wasn’t around. Guess we’ll find out.”

Lucy crosses one leg over the other and swivels to face her. “Why don’t you go and bring him something?”

“My dad’s the one in bloody hospital, he should be bringing _me_ something!” Ellie retorts. “Besides he’s made it quite plain he doesn’t want me there.”

“Funny, you’ve done the same to him _here_.”

Ellie stares at her. Lucy rolls her eyes.

“Oh _what_ , only telling the truth.”

Ellie folds her arms across her chest. “You didn’t _hear_ him, Lucy, you didn’t _see_ – he basically pulled me off the case right there in front of all our bloody subordinates.”

“ _Subordinates_ ,” Lucy scoffs. “Starting to sound like _him_.”

“It was humiliating.”

“Probably just doing what he thinks is best.” She shrugs. “For both you _and_ the case.”

Ellie digs her heels in. “I’m not going back there for another public bollocksing, believe you me,” she says. “Maybe I’ll just pop home for a bit. If I leave now I can make it before Aila’s nap, put her down myself.” She stands and straightens herself up a bit. “With _my_ luck the doctor will waltz in just as I’ve left.”

“Go on,” Lucy tells her. “I’ll ring you.”

*

Daisy and Tom pass the train station on their way to the hospital. It’s blocked off with yellow tape and surrounded by emergency vehicles.

“…Wonder if this is why Dad hasn’t texted,” Daisy says as they both stare at the passing scene.

Tom pulls out his mobile and immediately begins googling.

*

The first victim, Charles Chisolm, was a friend of a friend of Ellie’s friend Mary. The minute she realized this, it set off a chain reaction in her mind, one that ultimately led to a connection with the west side drug ring.

Katie presents the details of the theory to Alec, with as much additional material as she can uncover herself, to make it look organic.

“Yeah, all right, this is – “ He takes off his glasses and rubs his face. “This is good.”

He’s perched on the edge of the conference table.

“This is brilliant, actually. Right. You two – “ He gestures at Katie and Donald. “Take a couple of the uniform and head over to Christopher Street.” This is the last known hub of the west side drug ring they’ve been quietly investigating for ages.

Katie and Donald immediately spring to action.

“Hang on,” Alec calls after them. “Harford.”

Donald continues out the door. Katie waits.

“How’d you come up with this?”

His suspicious expression is enough to make Katie crack immediately. Ellie had told her not to worry about credit, she didn’t care about that. But Katie can’t do it.

“Uhm.”

“Harford.”

Katie exhales. “Ellie, sir.”

Alec stares at her. “Beg your pardon.”

“It’s from Ellie,” Katie says. “She’s been keeping up with her email. We’ve been speaking with her on and off.” She takes a breath, then launches into a defense of herself. “Look, we’ve been in a difficult position, and Ellie’s my boss too, I wasn’t sure how to – “

“I know, Harford,” Alec replies, nodding to himself. “You don’t need to tell me how persuasive my wife can be.”

“Right. Sorry, sir.”

Alec waves a manila folder at her. “Go on then.”

Katie rushes out the door before he can change his mind. Alec paces around the conference room for a few minutes, then slams the folder down on the table. “Bloody impossible,” he mutters to himself. “Maddenin’ woman.”

He picks up his mobile and considers ringing her, or at least texting her, when Jessica bursts through.

“Sir. The pathologist on the line for you.”

He shoves his mobile back into his pocket and heads for his office.

*

“Your mum’s just gone back to the house.”

Daisy and Tom have arrived at the hospital to find Lucy there alone. Daisy hands Lucy a latte but hangs on to the one they’d brought for Ellie.

“Where’s Dad?”

Tom is holding one as well.

“Oh, at work, I reckon,” Lucy replies, taking a sip. “Haven’t seen him since about three this morning.”

Tom and Daisy look at each other. They both start drinking the now-free lattes.

“How’s Granddad then?” Tom sits down beside his aunt.

“Came out of theater not too long ago, truth be told he’s in critical condition,” Lucy replies warily. “Not sure how much your mum wants you to know.”

Tom and Daisy both frown.

“We’re adults,” Tom says.

Lucy raises an eyebrow. “ _Sort_ of.”

“Is he gonna be all right?” Daisy asks.

“Dunno yet,” Lucy answers honestly. “Just waiting now.”

Daisy nods slowly. “What can we do?”

“Well. Probably best you can do is to help your mum and dad out at home, I reckon. Your dad’s got a couple of murders on his hands from what I understand.”

Tom straightens. “At the train stations?”

“Somethin’ about the train tracks, yeah.”

“Blimey.”

“So maybe pop into Tesco and stock up then try to keep things tidy at home,” Lucy suggests. “Your parents will appreciate it that more than just about anything.”

*

Aila is so happy to see Ellie she nearly leaps out of Molly’s arms. She’s slightly less enthused, though, when Ellie takes her up to the nursery, closes the door, and closes all the curtains. She starts slapping Ellie’s chest in complaint and offers her a little frowny face.

“Oh, don’t you give me Daddy’s face now, you.”

Ellie turns on the sound machine then puts the baby in her soft cotton sleep sack. She finds a pacifier, pops it in Aila’s mouth, then sits in the rocking chair with her. She tries to read her a book, one of those small books made of cardboard, but all Aila wants to do is turn the thick pages. She flips them back and forth constantly until Ellie gives up on the reading part and just waits until Aila flips to the end.

“All right now,” she says softly, putting the book away. She cradles the baby in her arms and rocks back and forth in the chair. “Rest now, my sweet bug. I may not be able to come home and put you down at bedtime, so let’s enjoy this for now. Maybe you’ll get lucky and Daddy will come home for a bit. Everyone’s very busy today.” She speaks softly, soothingly, stroking Aila’s cheek. “We’ve got so much on. I think the only one who isn’t cranky today is _you_.” Aila gurgles a bit, her eyelids beginning to droop. “The trouble with all this is that both Mummy and Daddy love to be right. _Need_ to be right. And need to be in control. And it can’t always be that way, they can’t _both_ manage it all the time, can they? Also Daddy is a massive wanking knob end. This we know. Can’t see past the end of his nose half the time. Wrapped up in his own ego and insecurities – yes, that’s right, both, he has both. They’re fighting inside him all the time. Whereas Mummy is just a very reasonable, thoughtful person who can’t help it if she knows what’s what.” Aila has fallen asleep now, mouth slightly open. “Mummy is very intuitive that way, you know. Daddy can be quite dense.”

She stands, slowly moving to the crib and laying the baby down. “But we won’t let that get to us, will we, sweet bug?” She leans down and kisses her forehead. “Sleep well, my baby love.”

*

Tom and Daisy return to the house with the aim of scouring the fridge and the cupboard to determine what is needed. The house is quiet. Molly is in the living room on her laptop while Aila sleeps. And they find Ellie in the kitchen.

“Mum,” Tom says, surprised.

“Oh, good.” Ellie licks something off her fingers. “You two can bring this to your dad.”

She folds down the top of a paper bag and holds it out.

“Why don’t you bring it?” Tom responds.

“Because I need to get back to hospital.” She hands Daisy the bag, then pats Tom’s shoulder. “You two all right?”

“Is there a serial killer on the loose?” Daisy questions.

Ellie sighs, leaning on the counter. “No, don’t you worry. These are targeted crimes, I promise you. Executions, I reckon. Not random killings.”

“Okay.” Daisy does not know what else to say.

“We’re going to Tesco. Pick up some things,” Tom tells her.

“Good. Much obliged.”

Ellie kisses them both on the cheek. “Ring you later. Bring that to Dad!”

*

Alec is standing in the middle of his office, hands on hips, staring at his shoes. When Tom and Daisy arrive, it’s unclear how long this has been going on.

“Dad.”

He looks up, startled.

“What’re you two doin’ here?”

Tom holds up a paper bag and hands it to him. “Mum asked us to bring this ‘round.”

Frowning, Alec puts it down on his desk and empties it. A sandwich in plastic wrap, an apple, a yoghurt with granola, and a bottled green tea. He stares at the items perhaps a bit longingly.

“She gave you this?”

“Yeah,” Tom replies. “Ran into her for like ten seconds at the house then she went back to hospital.”

“How’s your granddad?”

“Dunno,” Daisy says, shrugging her shoulders a bit sadly. “We popped by the hospital and there’s been no news.”

He nods, looking down, then glances up. “Ellie seem all right?”

Daisy furrows her brows. “Why’re you asking _us_?”

“Ah, no, ‘s just cause…haven’t seen her face to face in…a few hours,” Alec stammers, shifting his weight.

Tom and Daisy exchange skeptical glances.

“Well, I dunno, her dad’s in hospital in critical condition, so…” Tom says a bit snarkily.

“Right.” Alec looks down. “Well. Thanks for this. You two gettin’ on all right then?”

“We’re fine, Dad.” Daisy guides Tom to the door. “Let you get back to it.”

“Right. Thanks for, um. Bringin’ this by.”

Once they’re gone, Alec closes his office door. He sits at his desk and unwraps the sandwich. For the millionth time today, he thinks about ringing Ellie.

*

At the hospital, Ellie is attempting to sweet talk different nurses into giving her more information on David’s condition, or at least talk them into persuading a doctor to come speak with them.

They have the drug ring’s reported second-in-command under caution in the interview room. Alec’s been round to him twice now, trying different tactics. He’s a brick wall.

Daisy and Tom have returned to the house from Tesco with massive bags of groceries. They send Molly home and decide they’re running things now.

*

Between surreptitiously staying on top of the case and _respectfully_ harassing nurses, Ellie has lost track of time. There are no windows in the waiting room, so this is not especially hard to do if you put your back into it. Lucy leaves at some point, possibly around supper time as the nurses seem to be switching shifts, to pick up Olly from the train station the next town over. The Broadchurch station, of course, had been shut down for the time being and trains are being rerouted accordingly.

“He knows,” Katie tells her over the phone shortly after Lucy has left. “He dragged it out of me.”

Curious, Ellie thinks. For him to be well aware of her inserting herself into the case and not to have called her on it. She brushes it off and decides not to think on it.

“We’re fine,” Daisy tells her not long thereafter. “We’ve got supper sorted. Spaghetti and meatballs, everyone’s happy.”

Things are going suspiciously smoothly at home. Again, she brushes it off and decides not to think on it.

*

There’s a lull that occurs in the early evening. The folks at CID scatter either to go home or to procure a meal. Or maybe a pint, who knows. They’ve honed in on a suspect – the leader of the West Side drug ring – but have yet to locate him. There’s little to do while the uniform track down leads.

Taking a glance at his watch, Alec decides to pop home. He’s not seen his children in almost twenty-four hours. Has not held his baby. It’s also, he then realizes, possibly the longest he’s gone in years without laying eyes on his wife. Not since 8:30 that morning. Nearly twelve hours.

He gets into the car to head home, shouting out to the ranking officer on site that he’ll be back in an hour or so.

At home, he eats leftover spaghetti while Aila sits in his lap and Fred chatters away to him animatedly about his day, blissfully unaware of any strife, professional, medical or domestic. Fred is just happy to see his dad. The mostly one-sided conversation is cut off too soon when Alec finishes his meal and it’s time to put Aila to bed.

“Are you going to tuck _me_ in too?” Fred demands to know.

“Don’t think there’ll be time, mate,” Alec replies. And, anticipating his son’s fury, adds: “I think Tom and Daiz were plannin’ to let you stay up late, after all…”

His eyes light up. “And watch _Wonder Woman_?!?!?”

Problem solved. He takes Aila upstairs to her room. As in the afternoon, she is unamused when he closes the door and the curtains then switches on the sound machine. She starts shaking her head. Alec laughs with total elation -- this is the first time she’s ever done that. He opens his mouth to call for Ellie, then realizes she is not there. Alec shakes his head back at Aila and she does it again, this time grinning.

“Is _no_ shapin’ up to be your second word then, wee lass?”

Aila smiles. “Nuh nuh nuh.”

She starts shaking her head again rapidly as Alec puts her sleep sack on her. Then she gets dizzy and wobbles a bit. Laughing at her, he takes her to the rocking chair, along with the bottle he’d warmed downstairs. He rocks her back and forth in the chair. She has both hands on the bottle but she tends to forget to actually hold it up, so he holds the bottom for her and marvels at how big she’s getting.

“Ah, my sweet darlin’,” he says softly. “Best of all babies.” Aila shakes her head, grinning briefly before returning to suck at her bottle. “If Mummy could see you now. She’d be delighted, she would. You’ll show her in the mornin’, won’t you? Hopefully she’ll be here in the mornin’. Hopefully _I_ will. But you’ll not hold it against us, will you, wee lass? You know we’d be here if we could. Spend every wakin’ hour with you if we could. Well, most wakin’ hours anyway. You and your brothers and your sister.” He closes his eyes and keeps rocking, just enjoying the warmth and feel of her in his arms. And beginning to feel the weight of the day. When he opens his eyes again, Aila is staring at him curiously, as if she’s never seen him with his eyes closed before. She seems relieved when he looks at her again. She shakes her head, to please him. He taps her nose with his index finger. “My good girl.”

She soon falls asleep, and he parts with her only reluctantly.

*

“He’s not where we’d like him to be.”

Ellie, Lucy, and Olly sit three in a row as the doctor addresses them.

“Of course it’s possible things will improve overnight. We’re keeping a very close eye on him,” the doctor says. “But if he’s not responding better within the next twelve hours, we’ll need to begin discussing alternatives.”

“What kind of alternatives?” Lucy asks. “What does that mean?”

“Realistically, what are we talking about here?” Ellie chimes in.

The doctor offers them a sympathetic smile. “Let’s revisit this in the morning. We’ll have quite a bit more to go on by then.”

*

Donald and Katie are running on fumes at this point. Both are slumped over their desks, staring into steaming cups of coffee. Alec is staring at the whiteboard with a dry erase marker in hand.

“Sir,” Katie ventures, lifting her head slightly. “Maybe best we pack it in for the night? Return to it first thing, with clear heads and fresh eyes.”

Alec pays little attention to her. “Go on then.”

Katie and Donald waste no time in gathering their things.

“We’ll see you at first light, sir,” Donald says, sweeping past him. Katie follows swiftly.

Alec continues staring at the wall of evidence, then scribbles something onto the whiteboard.

*

“I’m out of my head,” Ellie announces, pacing rapidly back and forth. “I am absolutely out of my _head_. How long have we even been at this? How long has it been since I got the call?”

Lucy yawns, leaning back in her chair and crossing her legs. “Not even twenty-four hours.”

“ _What_.” Ellie whirls around and stares at her, dumbfounded. “Not even a full day?”

Lucy shakes her head.

“Feels like _weeks_.” She leans forward, grasping onto the back of an empty chair. “What are we meant to do? Just sit around and do nothing?”

“Nothing _to_ do, Auntie Ellie,” Olly replies, scrolling on his mobile.

She suddenly stands up straight. “I’m going. You two fine here for now?”

“Yeah, go.” Lucy shrugs. “I can sleep anywhere.”

“And I can play Candy Crush ‘til my brain rots,” Olly agrees.

“Good. Ring if you need me.”

Ellie grabs her bag and power walks down the hallway, brimming with energy and frustration. She pulls out her mobile as she rushes out the automatic hospital doors.

*

Alec bangs his head against the wall. Once, then twice. Then groans loudly. His mobile begins to vibrate in his pocket.

When he pulls it out, he sees Ellie’s face. The only thing that makes it worth having a mobile at all is having her face appear on the screen when she phones him. It’s a photo from their wedding night. At the hotel, when they stood in the lobby waiting for the elevator to take them up to their suite. He’d snapped a photo of her, taking her entirely unawares. In it, she’s tired, sweaty, makeup slightly running at the end of an impossibly long and emotional day. But she’s radiant, smiling both shyly and smarmily somehow. She has an unbelievable ability to portray all her many multitudes in a single look.

He’s so wrapped up in her that he nearly forgets it answer it. But then he puts it to his ear.

“…Hi.” Just the promise of her voice on the other line makes him breathe a little easier.

She sounds out of breath. “Have you got thirty minutes?”

“What?”

“Can you spare thirty minutes away from the case?”

“Uh.” He looks around the floor. He’s the only one in sight. “Reckon so, yeah.”

He can hear the wind rushing past her. “Meet me at the Trader’s in fifteen minutes.”

“The Trader’s?”

“Fifteen minutes,” she repeats. “I’ll text you the room number.”

He opens his mouth to protest or question but the line goes dead before any sound comes out. He stares at his mobile for a moment, then rushes into his office, grabs his jacket, and flies out the door.

***


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I did not expect to finish this chapter so soon but here we are. Thank you for reading.

It’s roughly a six minute walk from the station to the Trader’s Hotel. Alec manages it in four and a half.

He’s not certain precisely what awaits him. Is it possible that his wife has booked a hotel room simply to tear him a new one?

…On second that, that phrase, too, can mean many things…

It dizzies him a bit as he crosses the street almost without looking.

Truth be told he would not put it past Ellie to book a hotel room simply to fight with him. To have it out. To put him in his place.

Oh, god, those phrases too are doing him in.

This is when he understands. As he strides quickly down the sidewalk, the well-lit sign for the Trader’s in sight, he knows exactly what this is. He thinks about what her day must have been like. The frustrations, the uncertainty, the rage, the desperate hope, the adrenaline of clandestinely trying to solve this case without his knowing.

If he knows his wife – and he _does_ , by god – he knows that all of these things have culminated in a massive, bursting, urgent sexual energy that must be tearing through her like an electrical charge.

When his mobile vibrates in his back pocket he nearly gasps.

**Room 12.**

He stops short. What he doesn’t have is a bloody condom.

 _Fuck_.

 **Three minutes** , he texts back.

He crosses the street again and darts into the chemist’s. He had hoped it would never come to this – buying condoms from his local chemist, for anyone to see. When they’d done their bulk condom shopping a couple weeks earlier, they’d gone out of town to avoid the prying eyes of their neighbours. This time he doesn’t have a choice.

“All right, Hardy?” The woman at the checkout inexplicably knows his name though he does not know hers.

He waves without meeting her eyes and wills himself to be invisible as he quickly moves to the family planning aisle. He grabs a small packet of six condoms indiscriminately. At the counter, the woman smirks – he _swears_ she did – as she rings them up. He pulls out his wallet as quickly as possible and lays a ten pound note down.

“Keep the change,” he says, grabbing the packet and slipping it into his pocket as he flies out the door.

As the lights of the Trader’s draw closer once more and his anticipation rises, he suddenly laughs to himself, thinking about how hilarious it would be if he arrived at Room 12 to find his wife has absolutely no interest in sex whatsoever. Hilarious and deeply painful.

He quickly moves through the front door praying silently that Becca will not be on duty tonight.

But she is.

She has a Cheshire cat-like smile on her face when she greets him.

“Room 12,” she says coolly.

“Uh, yeah. Yeah.” He just nods and darts up the stairs.

He reaches the door marked _12_. He has a brief flash of something familiar. He thinks possibly this is the room they stayed in the night they got engaged. But he can’t be certain. He knocks on the door. He is acutely aware of the fact that he has never had to knock on a door in order to see his wife, not once since they’ve been together. The nature of their relationship has made it so doors are more or less invisible to them.

He finds this, all at once, incredibly arousing. God, he hopes she wants sex. At this point, he doesn’t know _what_ he’d do if she didn’t.

She answers the door in her knickers. Her sleeveless blouse is halfway unbuttoned, revealing a simple white bra. But even a simple white bra, on her, is practically lingerie status.

“Take your trousers off,” she says immediately and without prompting.

His last marriage had been a bit of a drag. This one, most decidedly, is _not_.

“Right.” He brushes past her while unbuckling his belt.

She closes the door and locks it. His trousers hit the floor just as she’s finished unbuttoning her blouse all the way. He steps out of them then grabs onto her hips and pushes her against the wall. He knows she’s still cross with him so he goes straight for her neck instead of her lips, sinking his teeth into her flesh perhaps harder than he means to. She inhales sharply and when she exhales, it’s with great pleasure.

He’s hard already, it’s possible he was hard climbing up the stairs, he hopes to god he _wasn’t_ hard as he flew past Becca in the lobby.

She’s yanking at his hair, always giving as good as she gets. He pushes the blouse off her shoulders and it gets wedged between her back and the wall. His hands grip the back of her thighs, fingertips pressing into her skin, happily kneading these handfuls of her.

Panting, she says, “Need you to fuck me.”

He nips at her earlobe, then whispers _yeah, I got that_ back into her ear.

If one of the basic tenets of being a husband is making yourself available to enthusiastically fuck your wife whenever she demands it, he is all for it. And he is an excellent husband.

He pulls her away from the wall and the blouse finally hits the floor. Roughly he guides her toward the bed, then lifts her up slightly only to fling her backwards onto her the mattress. He all but dives on top of her, losing himself in her breasts, groaning with unmitigated pleasure. She reaches underneath herself to unclasp her bra then he just about rips it off her. He takes a breast in his mouth, laving at her nipple with his tongue all the while rubbing his hard cock against her.

“Fuck,” he mutters when he briefly lifts his head to take a breath. Then he does the same to the other breast.

She’s whimpering a bit, squirming with desire beneath him, tangling her smooth, shapely legs with his muscular, mildly hairy ones.

As he’s sucking reverently on her nipple, she suddenly props herself up on her elbows, breathlessly. “Fuck, do you have a condom?”

He looks up. The terror on her face is _plain_. She’s clearly imagining her entire desperate plan swirl down the drain because of his stupid vasectomy.

With a sly smile, he crawls off her and picks up his trousers from the floor. He pulls out the packet of condoms. He watches the relief that washes over her face quickly turn to something wicked.

“You _knew_ ,” she says, accusatorily.

He pulls the strip of condoms out of the box. “I know _you_.”

She almost laughs, more with relief than anything actually friendly, and slides off her knickers while he rolls on the condom.

“Sit back.” He nods at the headboard of the bed.

She crawls backwards until she’s sitting up against it, knees bent, legs wide open.

“Christ,” he mutters under his breath at the sight of her.

Alec moves between her legs, propping himself up with one arm. He takes a chance and kisses her as his fingers find her clit. She gasps into his mouth and his teeth pull at her bottom lip.

“Gonna fuck you _twice_.”

For a split second he wonders if this might be his apology to her, but they are very not much doing that right now. This is not makeup sex, not in any way. This is hedonistic, desperate, purely selfish sex meant to propel them both through this difficult time.

The truth is he can’t help it. At this point, he enjoys making her come just as much if not more than coming himself. Yes, he thinks for the second time tonight, he is an excellent husband.

He thumbs her clit as he kisses her, sitting on his knees between her legs, rubbing his erection against her thigh. She pants into his mouth. He’s got her weak enough to let herself be kissed despite her anger towards him.

“Yeah,” she whimpers between kisses, motivating him beyond belief. When she nods her head, he finds himself messily kissing her jaw and her cheek. “ _Yeah_ ,” she begs him again.

He tries not to think about her father possibly dying in hospital but oddly enough when he does it only encourages him _more_. She _needs_ this, she deserves it. He’s been a twat, hasn’t he?

Alec kisses her through her orgasm. Her cheeks are wet and she might be crying and he keeps up his ministrations, coaxing out a rolling orgasm that makes her whole body shudder.

Fuck, she’s beautiful. Warm and soft and raw, her skin blushes all over and the little involuntary noises she makes are equal parts sexy and endearing. She’s absolutely infuriating in so many ways and he’s just so in love with her.

He pushes his throbbing cock inside her. He cannot wait any longer. She cries out and grabs onto his face with both hands. She’s still halfway sitting up against the headboard and he holds himself up with an arm on either side of her. He returns his mouth to her breast as he thrusts inside her, slowly at first. She keeps her hands on his face or in his hair, her eyes closed and her mouth open, sighing wantonly over and over. Fuck fuck fuck she’s gonna make him come too soon, she’s too lovely.

He rearranges them so that she’s lying flat on the mattress as he pushes into her harder. He cannot tell her how beautiful she is because they’re in a row. So he just thinks it, over and over. Marvels at it. She bites her lip and moans and he slams into her harder.

“More,” she demands. “Harder.”

Alec obeys. They come at the same time, gloriously, him crying out her name and her just crying out. _Best sex we’ve had in days_ , he thinks, and then laughs to himself because they’re so lucky. Things are never lacking for them in that department.

He flops down beside her on the bed. She takes roughly thirty seconds to compose herself then starts to crawl off the bed. He’s frowning.

“Too bad they don’t rent rooms by the hour,” Ellie says nonchalantly, grabbing a hand towel from the bathroom and wiping herself off.

He props himself up. “Leavin’?”

“Back to hospital.” She pulls on her knickers. “You should shower if you’re going back to the office.” She shimmies into her jeans. “And we’ve technically got the room until 11am tomorrow, so you may as well pop over and use it if you need a kip later on. Much closer than home and less distraction.”

He watches her put her bra on and then her blouse. “How’s your dad?”

“Dunno.” She starts buttoning from the bottom up. “Not well. More information in the morning, they say. In an induced coma now.”

Alec sits up straight. “Jesus, El.”

“Yeah.” She runs her fingers through her hair quickly then fishes her mobile out of her bag. “Blimey, took a bit longer than thirty minutes, must get back.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?” He moves to the edge of the bed.

She blinks at him, slinging her bag over her shoulder. “When would I have done that?” Then she tosses the room key at him. “See you later. Thanks for the shag.”

The door closes automatically behind her. He glances over at the room key on the bed. Looking down at himself, still completely starkers and glistening with sweat, he realizes that he’s more or less just had a one night stand with his own wife.

*

Tom and Daisy sit on the couch, each with a cup of tea. They feel accomplished, the way adults do at the end of a long, busy day.

“I’m _knackered_ ,” Tom says.

“We shouldn’t have let Fred stay up so late.” Daisy takes a long, soothing sip of her tea.

“He’s still talking to himself up there.”

“I forgot Aila might be up again soon,” she says with a sigh. “She’s been waking up around 10 or 11 most nights for the last few weeks, I remember El said.”

Tom just looks at her. Daisy shakes her head.

“Ohhh no, I was up with them _last_ night.”

“You’re so much better with them.”

Daisy scrunches her face up. “That’s not true.”

Tom leans back against the arm of the couch and yawns. “Maybe one of them will come home.”

“D’you think they’re in a row?” Daisy asks, tucking her feet underneath her.

“Yeah.” He nods. “Their timing’s shit.”

They both sip their tea.

“D’you think we’ll still go to Scotland next week?”

“Dunno.” Tom had forgotten all about their upcoming holiday. “Probably. Maybe depends on how Granddad is.”

“But if they’re still fighting…”

Tom frowns and shakes his head. “They won’t be. They’ve never fought that long.”

Daisy sighs, dropping her head against the back of the couch. “God I hope one of them comes home. I’d kill for a full night’s sleep.”

Tom turns to her suddenly, blinking his way through an epiphany. "Is this what adulthood is like?"

*

Ellie has set up a temporary office in the hospital waiting room. She props her feet up on another chair, her laptop on her thighs, and wades through old files relating to the west side drug ring, yawning all the while. Lucy is asleep across three chairs beside her. Olly has popped over to the pub for a pint before last call.

Her mobile buzzes. **You left a tenner on the table.**

She picks it up, squints, and then rolls her eyes. **For housekeeping.**

About a minute later, the reply comes in: **Bit much.**

He’s always been the frugal one between them.

She doesn’t respond.

*

The leader of the west side drug ring is found dead in the river by the uniformed officers around 2am.

In his office, Alec throws his mug against the wall and it shatters across the floor.

*

At 2:15, a nurse enters the waiting room. Ellie and Olly immediately stand. Olly shakes his mother awake.

“A doctor will be out to speak with you shortly, but I wanted to tell you as soon as possible,” the nurse begins. “Your father went into cardiac arrest about thirty minutes ago. He’s stable for the moment, but it has significantly weakened him and disturbed his recovery. They’re waiting to see if any other attacks will follow in the wake of this one. They sometimes come like aftershocks.”

They are silent for a moment, processing with some difficulty.

“So he’s not…is he conscious?” Ellie asks finally.

“At the moment, no. I’ll do my best to keep you posted while the doctor is seeing to him.” The nurse returns through the double doors.

Olly collapses into a chair, running his hands through his hair and roughly rubbing his face. Lucy turns silently and walks away, in a daze, emotionally drained. Ellie stands where she is.

*

Alec spends another hour in the interview with the drug ring’s second in command, interrogating him harder in light of this new development. But nothing comes of it. And he has no patience.

This is where Ellie often comes in, he realizes. This is Ellie’s forte.

He’s frankly not sure how to do this without her anymore. He hasn’t had to in so long.

Guarantee his favourite mug would not be in pieces on his office floor if she were around.

Katie shows up then, haphazardly dressed and makeup free. She’s gotten maybe three hours of sleep before being summoned back. Donald is on his way, Alec is told.

“Sir.” Katie tentatively knocks at Alec’s slightly ajar office door, holding a steaming mug of tea. “In light of…recent events. Of the way things are going…” She hesitates, chewing on the inside of her cheek. She notices the shattered mug on the floor. “Don’t you think it might be smart to bring Ellie in?”

Alec glances at her with great irritation, then directs his gaze back to his computer screen. “Ellie’s father is dying.”

Katie is silent. Then she nods. “Right. Sorry, sir.” She turns and goes back to her desk.

She sits, staring blankly at some files, resting her chin in her hand. She has worked with these two for over three years now. She has witnessed their relationship from the day it actually became a relationship. She’s seen them sneak around, date, move in together, get pregnant, have a baby, get married. She’s walked in on them in more intimate moments than she’d like to recall. She’s watched the way they are uncannily simpatico at work, solving cases together by bantering, bickering, pacing, snogging, shouting, scheming, even sometimes shutting out all others. And more than that, Katie has seen the way being with Ellie has _changed_ Alec, has injected his veins with calm and content, with gratitude and hope.

She was also _there_ when Ellie came in almost twenty-four hours ago and pledged her assistance on the case, ready to work, raring to go. She watched Alec turn her away, shut her down.

Perhaps it’s true that her father is dying. But the Ellie she knows would be here anyway. Would prefer to be here over anything else, both for love of the job and for the distraction.

So what on earth is the problem here?

(Of course, she’d be exponentially _more_ confused if she knew her bosses had also had a rough, quick shag in a hotel room only hours earlier. But no matter.)

*

Alec’s head is throbbing, his bones aching, he’s not slept in two days. Four years ago, this would have been more or less the norm for him. But not anymore.

They have the second-in-command in custody for seven more hours before they are legally obligated to release him. To everyone’s surprise, Alec makes the shocking decision to go get four hours of sleep, in the hopes it will allow him renewed brain elasticity and some genius angle will come to him in slumber.

He feels for the hotel room key in his pocket and grabs his jacket, leaving Katie and Donald to burn the 4am oil and hold down the fort.

The Trader’s lobby is quiet and dimly lit. He exhaustedly trudges up the stairs to room twelve. As he closes the door behind him, he senses an unexpected presence, then notices a sleeping figure on the bed.

His heart does somersaults until he takes a deep breath and calms it down.

He’d had absolutely no expectations or illusions of Ellie being here. But there she is, fast asleep in the bed they’d shagged in six hours earlier. A ten pound note is still on the table.

As he slips off his shoes and takes off his trousers, he contemplates what must have happened to get her here. Like him, she’s much more likely to tough things out, to stay awake on the off-chance someone might possibly need her even for one second. He fully expected that if she chose to sleep, it would be in splayed out across multiple chairs in the waiting room of the hospital. And if for some reason she decided otherwise, she’d have gone home and fallen asleep in Fred’s bed or in the rocking chair next to Aila’s crib.

What must have broken her for her to end up here?

In his briefs and unbuttoned shirt, he gingerly crawls onto the bed beside her. She’s lying on her side with her back to him. He listens to the rhythm of her breath for a while, absorbing the familiar warmth of her beside him. Then he cozies up to her, pressing his body to hers, an arm around her waist. He knows it’s simply instinct on her part, but he breathes a little easier when she relaxes into him and covers his hand with hers. He kisses her temple and her hair, then lets his head sink into the pillow.

His sleep passes dreamlessly, uninterrupted and unbroken for four straight hours. For a short time at ease.

And when he wakes, he is alone in the bed, her side still warm, and she is gone.

***


	4. Chapter 4

The case is solved by the time he returns to CID in the morning.

DNA places the leader of the West Side drug ring at the scene. The leader of the South Side drug ring (this is what CID calls them anyway, if only to differentiate from the west side. They have no idea what they call themselves) is implicated in the murder of the West Side leader. Three arrests have taken place – two from the South Side ring and one from the West Side ring, being that the other is dead. Alec spends about an hour getting caught up on everything that apparently went down while he was sleeping beside his elusive and now disappeared wife in a hotel room.

The very last thing he learns – and this is likely by design – is that it was Ellie who tipped them off at 6am this morning, leading to the arrests.

Upon learning this fact, and the details therein, Alec nods tersely, as if this is of no surprise to him. Then he excuses himself to his office and closes the door.

He sits at his desk, leaning forward on his elbows and running his fingers through his hair. He briefly wonders what Jenkinson will think when she realizes that this case was wrapped up, arrests made, entirely outside of the physical presence of the two people who are meant to be in charge. Katie and Donald, along with several DCs, are responsible for the closing of this bizarre case. They can make an argument, of course, that it was with Ellie’s supervision over the phone, but they’ll all quietly know that wasn’t expressly the truth.

He can handle Jenkinson.

Ellie, on the other hand…

His own wife.

It’s then he notes that his mug is still in shattered pieces on the floor.

He leaves them. Grabs his jacket. Runs out the door.

He does a quick pass by Donald and Katie’s adjacent desks and promises to return and assist with paperwork as soon as possible. But for now, he says, “I’m goin’ to my wife.”

*

Lucy appears thoroughly and utterly shocked when Alec appears in the waiting room.

“ _Oh_ ,” she says, involuntarily.

Olly stands. “Alec.” The two man share a slightly awkward, uncomfortably masculine hug. How far they’ve come since becoming family. “Good to see you.”

Alec appears mildly confused by the younger man’s presence. “When’d you get in?”

“Late afternoon yesterday,” Olly replies.

“Any progress on the case?” Lucy pipes out. “Trains were rerouted all yesterday.”

Alec nods. “The station should be openin’ up again soon. The case is sorted.”

She sits up straight. “Brilliant, have you told El?”

“Uh, no.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and glances around. “Came by to see her actually.”

Lucy folds her legs underneath her. “Yeah, she’s been a bit hard to pin down for a couple hours. Probably find her outside somewhere. This windowless environment’s done her in, I reckon.”

“Right.” He looks around again at all the junk food wrappers and fast food containers, remnants of difficult moments and of time passed. It’s then that he becomes acutely aware of his absence throughout all this. “Sorry, how’ve you been? How’s David?”

Lucy shrugs, not from lack of interest but rather pure exhaustion and listlessness. “He’s not well. We’ve not been able to see him. It’s a waiting game now, or so they tell us.”

“Had a heart attack in the wee hours,” Olly tells him. Normally this is information he’d assume his uncle would have by now. But based on what he’s witnessed from his aunt, he’s not convinced. “A smaller one followed. In a pretty weakened state at the moment.”

“Christ.” Alec sighs and places his hands on his hips, standing there helplessly. “’m sorry. And sorry not to have been here.”

“Eh, what’re you gonna do,” Lucy replies, waving a hand. “You can’t help it if there’s multiple homicides while our ailing father’s in hospital, can you?”

For the first time he wonders if maybe he could have. If perhaps he might’ve asked Jenkinson to tag someone else in, if they might’ve put DSI Swift to work for once. The thought hadn’t occurred to him at the time.

But he just says, “Right.” And nods noncommittally. “Well I’m off to track down Ellie. Can I get you all anythin’? Bring somethin’ back with me?”

Lucy shakes her head. “Nah.”

“We’ll text,” Olly says, if they need anything.

“Right.” Alec starts to back away. “Back soon.”

*

He finds Ellie in a place he’d least expected. A smokers' courtyard fifteen metres from the hospital. She’s leaning over the railing that protects from the river below, smoking a cigarette.

He has never. Not once. Seen her smoke a cigarette. He gives himself a moment to accept the sight before him, then clears his throat. She turns around.

The expression on her face feels to him like one he’s never seen before and he’s not quite sure what to make of it.

She looks surprised and expectant all at once. She breathes in, sucking her teeth briefly, then takes one last drag of the cigarette before putting it out in the designated ash tray tower. He takes a few steps toward her, tentatively. And then she shocks him again – her face seems to split in anguish as she bursts into tears and walks straight into his arms. His hold on her is tight and immediate, arms wrapped around her body.

“It’s all right, love.” He kisses her hair. “Gonna be all right.”

Alec can feel her shaking her head into his chest. “No.” She sniffs. “Dunno if it is.”

He strokes her hair and rocks her a bit. “Shhh. You’re all right, my love. You are.”

He’s relishing the moment, truthfully. Even though it does break his heart into pieces anytime she cries. Anytime he has to witness her in anguish. Or even just thought of her in anguish. But all the same, he’s wildly grateful to have her in his arms. He suspects this has been building for a while, knowing her as he does, and he mentally kicks himself hard for not being there for her sooner. For not putting her first. He shouldn’t have gone to work at all. Just shouldn’t have gone. He can only blame his pride for that.

“Feel like I have no idea where I am,” she says quietly. “Or how much time has passed. Or how I feel about just about anything.” She pulls back a bit to look up at him, her tear-stained cheeks wrenching his heart. “You know this is the most we’ve been apart in years.”

He nods. “I know. Although…”

She grants him a half-smile. “I _know_.”

“Still, I wish I’d been here.” He tucks her hair behind her ear. The relief he feels is immense. “I’m sorry.”

“For not being here?” Ellie asks, wide-eyed, searching him.

He hesitates. There’s just the tiniest hint in her tone that worries him. “For not bein’ with you, yeah.”

She considers his response briefly then extricates herself from his arms, taking a few steps backward.

“El.”

Her expression is slowly turning icy. “You humiliated me in front of our subordinates.”

“Bit of an exaggeration…”

“No, it isn’t.” She folds her arms across her chest. “That’s what happened.”

Alec feels himself spinning out. Another case of emotional whiplash at the hands of Ellie Hardy. His frustration takes over before he has a chance to quell it in favor of a more docile emotion.

“This logic erases the fact that you are, in fact, whether you like it or not, _my_ subordinate.”

She goes red. She starts shaking her head and walking toward the railing.

“What, goin’ to have another cigarette then?” He surmises coldly. “Since when is _that_ a habit of yours by the way?”

“You _knew_ what I needed and you knew my value. You _knew_ I could solve this case and what’s more – I _did_. Did you notice that? You threw me out on my arse and I still solved it!” Ellie exclaims.

“Ellie.” He tries to calm himself. “If I could take anythin’ back from the last few days, I’d have put someone else in charge of the case. But that’s all I’d change. I stand by my decision.”

“Your decision to shut me out,” she confirms, in disbelief.

“My decision to put the needs of the case first,” Alec replies firmly. “You were in no state to join this case in a ranking capacity. To give orders, to manage the floor. Whether or not you tipped us off and contributed to the solvin’ of the case is irrelevant. I had reason to believe, at the time, that you might possibly _damage_ the case.”

She’s seething now. “ _Damage_ it? _Damage_ the case?”

“I couldn’t let my sympathy for you as your husband cloud my judgement.”

“Oh my god, your _sympathy_ for me, are you _joking_?!”

“Empathy,” Alec amends quickly. “My empathy for you, my bias toward your wellbeing, whatever you want to call it.”

“I’m fascinated by what _you_ seem to want to call it.”

“You know exactly what I’m tryin’ to say, Ellie.” God, he’d kill for one of her illicit cigarettes right now. “I had to _do my job_. For all we knew at the time we had a serial killer in our midst. I didn’t have time to babysit you.”

“Just digging deeper into that hole, go on, don’t stop now,” Ellie says, gritting her teeth. “How long has this been building? Some long-buried secret desire to assert yourself with me at work? To prove your authority and your _manhood_ to our colleagues? To _your subordinates_? Afraid they might think you’re too _whipped_ , were you. Under the thumb of the little woman.”

“No.” He shakes his head. “No, Ellie. That’s not what this is about.”

“And not one call! Not one text. Not an update of any kind before we met at the Trader’s,” she continues. “Not even one single spare moment to ask me if my father was still bloody _alive_. Or – and actually this is what’s been gnawing at me, if I’m being honest – to ask after the kids! Who was it organizing all the child-minding, making sure the children were looked after? _Me_. It was _me_. What would’ve happened if I’d been too broken up to sort it all? If Dad had died in theater and I was buried in my grief? Tell me, what. What would’ve happened.”

Alec exhales, rubbing his temple. “Molly was there. Daiz and Tom would’ve stepped up. Would’ve called. Would’ve made certain that – “

“Daiz and Tom are children, Alec!” She retorts. “More or less anyway. It’s not _their_ responsibility. It’s not up to them to see their younger siblings are looked after, _they_ need looking after too, you know.”

“No, it’s not, it’s not their responsibility, but nor are they children,” Alec argues. “They’re proactive and they’re clever. They’d have been fine. They _are_ fine.”

“You’d hardly know it either way, though, would you? Having not checked in or anything.” She glares at him.

“This argument is futile,” Alec says with a sigh. “Everythin’ is fine. The case is solved, the kids are fine. What more can we do but move on from it?”

“Oh no, that’s not how it works. All’s not well that ends well, Alec,” Ellie answers.

“You just want to have a row,” he mutters under his breath.

She leans in. “What was that?”

“You just want to have a row!” He exclaims suddenly. “You want to _fight_ somethin’ so you’re fightin’ me.”

“Just want to _fight_ something? You think I want to stand outside a hospital fighting with my husband, the person closest to me in all the world, while my father is dying in the ICU? Really?”

Alec begins pacing, walking in a jagged circle. “No good is comin’ from this. I’m goin’ home. See the kids.”

“Fine. As you should.” And then she adds: “I’ve rented the room at the Trader’s for another night.”

As he’s contemplating walking away, he freezes. “What?” He looks straight at her.

“I’ve extended it. I’ll sleep there tonight.”

She’s knocked the wind out of him. “Ellie.”

“It’s fine. It’s closer to where I need to be.” She avoids his gaze.

He stiffens, moving quickly from heartbroken to furious again. “And what about the kids?”

She shrugs. “I’ll come home for supper. Give me a thirty minute warning and I’ll pop home. Eat with them, maybe put Aila to bed. Grab some things, a change of clothes. Then I’ll go.” She holds out her hand. “I’d like your key card back.”

He’s staring at her frankly quite dumbfounded. “…I returned it to the desk.”

“Right. Well.” She pulls out her pack of cigarettes and turns away. “I’ll see you at supper then.”

*

Alec has no idea what to do with all the rage he now feels inside. He slams the car door closed once he’s sat in the driver’s seat. He squeezes the steering wheel until his hands turn red. He has no idea who he’s more cross at – Ellie or himself. Then he glances up to the rearview mirror and catches a glimpse of Aila’s car seat in the back. He takes a breath and turns the key in the ignition.

*

Lucy is on her way out as Ellie opens the door.

“Oh, El. Just gone after you. We can go and see Dad now.”

Olly stays behind in the waiting room. Two is the limit, and truthfully he’s a bit relieved.

David is asleep in his hospital bed when his daughters cautiously move into the room.

“Asleep is a step up from unconsciousness, yeah?” Lucy questions the nurse.

She nods. “He’s stable and comfortable.”

Ellie blinks at her. “Comfortable. That’s what you lot always say when someone is about to pass on.”

“No, no. He’s all right,” the nurse assures them. “His vitals are going up. I’m sorry he’s not awake to speak to you but I thought you’d like to see for yourselves that he’s improving, if only somewhat.”

“Thank you,” Ellie says.

The nurse smiles. “Your father’s lucky to have such devoted daughters.”

*

Alec arrives home and finds his two youngest children in the kitchen, plus one more.

“Daddy!” Fred exclaims.

Beth stands at the sink, drying a frying pan with a tea towel.

“Yay!” Lizzie exclaims, just to be included.

Fred jumps out of his chair and runs to Alec, who lifts him up in his arms.

“You’re back!” Fred says happily. “I missed you.”

Beth smiles at them. “All right, Alec?”

“Didn’t know you were here,” Alec says. “Thanks for helpin’ out. We appreciate it.”

Just the word _we_ feels odd coming out of his mouth in this instance.

“Ah, no bother at all,” Beth replies. “Is it, Lizzie? We’re happy to have lunch with our best mates, aren’t we?”

Lizzie nods enthusiastically. “We’re having cheese sandwiches!”

“Are you?” Alec replies. “Looks good. Come on, mate.” He carries Fred back over to his chair and plops him down.

Aila is squirming and whining in her highchair, holding her arms out anxiously. She has applesauce all over her face.

“And what’s this, my wee darlin’?” Alec goes to her. He kisses the top of her head, but that is not nearly enough for the needy baby. “Wearin’ your lunch, I see.” He unbuckles her from the highchair and lifts her up, wiping her chin with her bib.

“Daddy, did you solve the case?” Fred asks, with his mouth full.

“Close your mouth, lad.” Fred does. “Yeah, case is all sorted. No more bad blokes on the streets of Broadchurch.”

“Did Mumma put him in handcuffs?” The boy asks. “Mumma likes to do the handcuffs.”

Alec merely smiles back at Fred a bit sadly, then turns to Beth. “We’re all right here now.”

“Right, then.” She looks at Lizzie. “Gobble up that last bite there, missy! Let’s get on.” She wipes her hands on the tea towel then sets it down. “Is El all right? Does she need anything?”

Alec blinks at her then says, “She’s all right. Thanks a lot.”

Once Beth and Lizzie have gone, Alec sits at the table beside Fred, holding Aila on his lap and feeding her tiny mushed up pieces of bread.

“Are we still going to the beach today?” Fred asks.

“What?”

“You said on Saturday we’d go to the beach.”

“Oh. Um.” He shakes his head. “Not today, mate. I’ve not had much sleep in the last few days, need to take it easy this afternoon. Hang out here a bit.”

Fred pouts. “But you said.”

“We’ve got the entire back garden to play in,” Alec tells him. “You’ve more toys than I can count, right here at home.”

Fred stares at him, challengingly, and says, “Where’s Mumma? I want Mumma.”

“She’s, um.” He clears his throat. “Still at work, got loads of paperwork to do for the case.”

Fred is still pouting. “Maybe _you_ should go do paperwork and _Mumma_ can come home and take me to the beach.”

“Not today, lad,” Alec says a bit more firmly.

Aila looks up at him, smiling, blissfully unaware of the conflict currently taking place. “Duck,” she says.

Alec kisses her forehead.

“I wanna Facetime Mumma,” Fred demands.

“Your mum’ll be home ‘round suppertime.”

“I wanna see her now, I wanna see Mumma.”

“Mmmmm-muh,” Aila says, bouncing.

Alec sighs heavily and there’s a long pause as Fred stares him down.

“…Why don’t you go put on _Aquaman_.”

Fred blinks, narrows his eyes, then apparently decides this is an acceptable compromise. He hops off his chair. “Okay.” And he runs off.

*

It’s a bit startling, to see their bedroom their way. The bed is unmade – causing him to remember that when they’d gotten the call about David, they’d been making love. Ellie’s number one pet peeve is an unmade bed. No matter what’s going on, she makes the bed. It helps her feel settled, she’s always said. A more important part of her morning routine even than coffee.

He spreads out the duvet a bit and lays Aila on top of it on her back. She immediately rolls over. He laughs, because he knew she would. Now that she’s a big girl, all of nine months old, she refuses to just lie down and let things happen around her. Alec sits on the edge and pulls his shoes off, then his socks. He lets out a sigh and breathes in and out. Aila crawls to him. She holds onto his arm and, with great difficulty, pulls herself up to standing.

“Whoa there, lass.” He turns a bit to grab onto her but he’s her anchor and the movement makes her plop back down. She frowns at him. He chuckles. “Sorry, darlin’.”

Alec flops down on his back causing the bed to shake a bit. Aila starts to laugh menacingly – this can only mean one thing. She crawls on top of him with a cheeky grin, then she starts shaking her head, remembering how it amused him yesterday. Alec smiles back and starts shaking his head too until she laughs with glee.

“Dad?”

Daisy is standing in the doorway, yawning. He props himself up on his elbows. “You just awake now?”

“It’s summer.” She shrugs. “And I’ve had a very busy few days you know.”

“Ah, yes. You solved that double homicide, didn’t you?” He smirks.

She rolls her eyes. “Did you get it sorted? How’s Granddad?”

“Case is solved.” He sits up with a groan, pulling Aila with him. She happily sits in his lap, eating her own hand. “Granddad’s still in rough shape. We’ll know more soon.”

“El’s still at the hospital?”

“Yeah, love.”

Daisy leans against the doorframe. “Have you two sorted yourselves as well?”

“What d’you mean, darlin’?”

“We know you’re in a row,” she says matter-of-factly. “We’re quite clever you know.”

Alec shakes his head. “Just haven’t had any time to ourselves, that’s all. Our wires are a bit crossed at the moment.”

Daisy’s eyes narrow in on him. “Your wires are never crossed. That’s kind of your thing. You bicker but you always understand each other deep down.”

 _Not now_ , Alec thinks. “We’ll be fine,” he assures her.

She yawns, stretching out her arms. “If you want to go be with her, I can hold down the fort for a bit.”

“That’s good of you, darlin’,” Alec replies. “But we’re all right. One of us should be home with you kids after the last few days.”

“Suit yourself.” She turns. “Is there coffee?”

“It’s half noon!”

“So?!”

Alec looks at Aila and shakes his head in disbelief. She just grins and shakes her head back.

*

A mysterious woman shows up around two in the afternoon. From the looks of her, Ellie would guess in her late sixties. Her hair is bleached and she holds her handbag close to her ribcage. She looks around, as if totally lost. Ellie’s detective senses kick in.

She eyes her. “You wouldn’t be _Sally_ by any chance?”

Lucy’s ears perk up. She hadn’t even noticed the woman come in.

“Yes,” the woman replies. “…You must be Ellie. And Lucy.”

“Oh, bloody hell,” Lucy mutters under her breath.

She steps forward and holds out her hand to Ellie, then to Lucy. “I’m happy to meet you.”

“You were the one who called 999,” Ellie says. “And then disappeared.”

Sally looks horrified. “No, no, I – well. I suppose I did, yes, but only because I didn’t want to intrude on you girls. I knew your father hadn’t yet gotten a chance to tell you about us and it didn’t seem to me that this was the way,” she explains. “How is he?”

“Stable,” Lucy says. “But pretty well roughed up. They doubt he’ll recover fully. But he’s been conscious the last few hours so that’s a start.”

Sally nods. She clearly has no idea what to say. “I’ll…is it all right if I give you my number? And you might…update me once in a while? I don’t want to be a nuisance but I would like to be keep informed. If possible.”

Ellie sits back down beside her sister. “Stay if you like. Plenty of room here. But don’t drink the coffee, it’s shite.”

*

The afternoon passes more or less uneventfully. After Aila goes down for her nap, Alec watches the second half of _Aquaman_ with Fred, the child splayed across his lap like he’s a piece of furniture. Daisy and Tom disperse, respectively, at some point, but only after having been ordered to be home for supper, because Ellie will be there. Then Alec and Fred play out in the back garden for a spell, which mostly consists of Fred explaining the rules of the imaginary world he’s created for his toys and then chiding Alec when he gets it wrong. When Aila wakes, he straps her into her highchair with a few soft toys then scours the kitchen for meal ideas. With what they have, he settles on a beef and mushroom stroganoff with a potato mash and roasted veggies. Not too shabby. He remembers Daisy and Tom mentioning that they were either going or had gone to Tesco the other day. He must remember to thank them.

As he pulls out all the ingredients, he has a nagging, though unrealistic, thought that perhaps his cooking might lure Ellie in. Convince her to stay. She can only live on fish and chips for so long. Surely even she realizes this.

While he cooks, Fred is set up at the kitchen table with construction paper, markers, and crayons. Alec has even dug out the glitter pens that have been buried in a cupboard for months. Aila is well occupied with her toys, but mostly occupied in watching her brother colour and her father cook. She babbles away happily. Alec briefly wonders when the last time was that the baby saw her mother. He hates that he has no idea.

Perhaps this is what Ellie was talking about…

*

“Shall we head down the pub for a bit of nosh?” Lucy stands up and stretches, her joints crackling in a way that is both disconcerting and satisfying.

Olly stands in agreement.

“I’ve promised to go home for supper,” Ellie confesses.

“Oh,” Lucy replies. “That’s good then, no?”

Ellie makes a cringey face. “Bit awkward.”

“With Alec, yeah,” her sister agrees. “But you’ll be happy to see the kids.”

“Oh I can’t _wait_ to see the kids,” Ellie agrees. “D’you know I’ve not nursed in, like, thirty-six hours?”

Olly looks away uncomfortably, as if the word _nursing_ alone will conjure the image.

Lucy snorts. “Little girl must be chomping at the bit.”

Ellie gathers her things and tidies up her de facto workspace. “I’ll be back after. Staying at the Trader’s tonight.”

Lucy eyes her thoughtfully, trying to suss her sister out. “…All right. You sure?”

“Yeah.” Ellie nods, throwing her bag over her shoulder. “It makes sense.”

“Right.”

Lucy and Olly exchange a wary glance and follow her out of the waiting room.

*

Daisy and Tom are laying the table in the dining room when Ellie arrives.

“Hello!” She calls out, slipping off her shoes in the foyer. “Anyone named Fred at home?!”

She passes through the dining room and kisses both Daisy and Tom on the tops of their heads. “Hi, lovelies.”

The sound of Fred’s rapid footsteps proceed him until he bursts into the dining room. “MUMMA!” He runs into her arms and she lifts him up onto her hip. “You’re back!”

“Oh, it’s not been _so_ long,” Ellie replies, smooching his cheek. “How are you, my little love?”

“Good I’m doing colouring,” Fred tells her. “Daddy found my glitter pens. Did you handcuff the bad guy?”

Ellie blinks at him, trying to catch up from his non sequitur. “Ah, no. I think it was DS Harford who did the honours.”

“I did a picture of you putting the bad guy in jail.”

“Oh did you?” Ellie smirks at Daisy and Tom, then begins walking into the kitchen with Fred in tow. The boy holds onto her neck and lays his head on her shoulder. She rubs his back. “Oh, my sweet. I thought you’d hardly notice I was gone.”

In the kitchen, Alec is in the final stages of cooking. Aila is banging her toys on the tray table and immediately starts babbling urgent nonsense words when Ellie comes into view.

“Don’t like to sleep when you’re not here,” Fred murmurs into her neck.

Alec turns to see them, his heart cracking open at the sight of Ellie and Fred. They used to be so attached this way, for so long. In the last few months, as Fred keeps growing, he’s become slightly less attached. Not as clingy. Aila has helped with that, truthfully. Aila’s necessary attachment to Ellie has helped Fred wean his own attachment, grudgingly of course. It’s been good for him. But it’s lovely whenever Alec gets to watch them together.

“Say hi to Daddy,” Fred demands, noticing that his parents are looking at each other silently.

“Hello,” Ellie says coolly.

Alec clears his throat. “Heya.” He turns back to the cooker.

Aila’s whining has become more insistent. She is holding out her arms and flexing her fingers at Ellie, squirming anxiously in her highchair.

“All right.” Ellie deposits Fred onto his chair. “Those drawings are looking good, love, better keep at ‘em.”

Fred slumps down, knowing he’s been traded for his baby sister, but then picks up his glitter pens with purpose. Ellie reaches for the baby and pulls her into her arms.

“Hello, my sweet girl.”

Aila immediately begins pulling at Ellie’s clothing and mouthing at her breasts.

“Ah, you’re a subtle thing, aren’t you.” She sits down the table after pushing a chair against the wall to face out. “Here you go, bug.” She unbuttons her top, unclasps her bra, and lets Aila hungrily have at it. Aila makes happy little grunting noises as she begins nursing, causing Ellie to chuckle. “Subtle, subtle baby.”

Alec cannot keep himself from staring, wooden spoon in his hand, pans simmering behind him. Ellie exhales, closing her eyes and leaning her head back against the wall, relaxed for the first time in days, probably, the oxytocin coursing through her.

“She stood up again today,” Alec says, tentatively.

Ellie opens her eyes. “Did she?”

“Holdin’ to my arm. Didn’t last long, but.” He shrugs a bit. “Has another new trick as well.”

She just looks at him.

“Don’t wanna spoil it.”

“Ah.” Ellie looks down at Aila but speaks to him. “Please don’t speak to me like I’ve gone off and you’ve been here all along. That isn’t fair. And it isn’t true.”

Alec is startled. “I wasn’t, I – “ He opens his mouth and closes it. He realizes that’s more or less exactly what’s he’s just done. “Sorry.” He turns back to the pots and pans. “Supper will be ready in a mo.”

Ellie closes her eyes again. And then: “Ow!”

Aila has been sucking at her nipple eagerly, even holding her breast with both hands like it’s a bottle. But she smiles cunningly at her mother after she bites her.

“Little menace,” Ellie mutters, shaking her head at her.

On cue, Aila shakes her head back.

“ _Oh_ ,” Ellie gasps. She looks up at Alec, who has indeed been watching. “Did you – “

“I saw.” He smiles.

“That’s the trick, is it?”

Alec nods. Ellie grins and shakes her head back at Aila. Aila seems satisfied and returns to nursing.

*

A bit of normalcy is attempted at supper. They avoid discussion of both the case and of David’s condition, for the sake of Fred, who is unaware. Fred does most of the talking, as per usual, but he’s in rare form and even his older siblings seem amused by him. He has very much missed having his entire family together over the last few days.

Aila stays on Ellie’s lap throughout the meal, after refusing to get back into her highchair. Ellie feeds her small bits from her own plate.

Having finished most of what’s on his dish, for once, Fred looks up and asks, “Mumma, will you watch a superhero film with me tonight?”

Alec eyes him. “Already watched a film today, lad.”

“But not with _Mumma_.”

Ellie finishes chewing her current bite and puts her fork down. “Afraid not, love. I’ll need to be off again after I put Aila down, I reckon.”

Fred stares at her. “Why.”

“Because…”

“Still got loads of paperwork left,” Alec says quickly. “It was a big case we solved.”

Ellie scoffs. “ _We_.”

Daisy and Tom exchange glances.

“But at night?!” Fred complains. “It’s Saturday! And it’s nighttime! And you haven’t been home for bedtime in days. How much paper _really_ needs to be worked at the weekend!”

Ellie grimaces, staring down uneasily at her plate. Alec looks at her, waiting for her eyes to meet them. But they do not.

“All right, come here, little love.” Ellie hands Aila off to Alec without warning. Fred hops off his chair and climbs onto her lap. “Have to tell you something very important and I need you to listen with your ears and your brain and even your eyes.”

Fred pokes himself in the eye. “With my eyes?”

“That’s right, you didn’t know you can listen with your eyes?” He shakes his head. “It means you're truly paying attention, to everything. Are you ready to pay attention?”

He nods, then lays his head on her shoulder.

“There _was_ a bad guy and we did catch him. That’s what Daddy’s been up to the last few days,” Ellie explains to him carefully. “But Mumma has been somewhere else.”

“Where?”

Daisy, Tom, and Alec are all watching apprehensively. Alec with a frown on his face. They haven’t discussed telling Fred the truth about his grandfather. They haven’t discussed when they would do it or how they would do it. But it seems she’s about to nonetheless.

“I’ve been at the hospital,” Ellie says. “With Granddad.”

Fred raises his head. “Is Granddad ill? Did he break a bone? Does he have a fever?”

“Okay, now listen.” She holds him tight and he lays his head back on her shoulder. “Granddad is quite ill at the moment. Auntie Lucy and Olly and I have been spending most of our time at the hospital waiting for news from his doctors.”

“Is he gonna die?”

“No, sweet love, I don’t think so,” she answers honestly. “He’s doing a bit better now. But he may be in hospital for quite a while. And even after that, he’s not going to be his usual self, he’ll likely be moving slower and resting a lot. This is something that can happen when a person gets very old, and Granddad is getting up there. So we have to be thoughtful and kind and as helpful as we can be. All right?”

Fred snuggles into her chest. “Will he still want to see me?”

“Of course he will, love!” Ellie replies, kissing the top of his head. “His most favourite thing in the whole world is seeing you. He’ll be so happy. I’m not sure exactly _when_ you’ll be able to see him, but as soon as you are, I’ll take you, all right? I promise.”

“Okay Mumma.”

Ellie rocks him a bit and kisses his head. Daisy and Tom look down at their plates, in an effort not to openly display any emotion they might be feeling. Alec is holding Aila tight. She leans back against him and chews on his fingers obliviously.

“Duck,” she says.

*

After supper, Alec tidies up while Ellie puts Aila to bed. Daisy and Tom go off their separate ways for the evening, a summer night full of potential still ahead of them.

Ellie caves and compromises with Fred – they watch two episodes of _Clone Wars_ together. Alec sits in the back garden nursing two fingers of scotch.

Then she puts Fred to bed. But first they come outside, where Fred gives his dad a hug and a kiss.

An hour later, the sky has finally gone completely dark and Alec ventures inside. His glass is empty. He puts the kettle on then finds himself poking around, looking for Ellie. All is quiet.

It’s possible she’s just…gone. Left. Put Fred to bed and saw herself out. He’d like to believe she wouldn’t, but he’s not entirely sure what’s worth believing at this point.

He pads upstairs. He first looks in on Aila – sleeping soundly on her stomach, pacifier having just fallen out of her mouth. Then he looks in on Fred.

And that’s where he finds Ellie. She’s asleep alongside him in his tiny bed, snuggled up to him.

He has no idea how long he stands in the doorway staring before he quietly, carefully tiptoes over and kneels.

He places a hand on her shoulder and oh god it feels so good to touch her.

“El,” he whispers.

She groans a bit. He rubs her arm. Her eyelids flutter open as she registers where she is, then she turns to see him.

“Mm. Sorry.”

Alec stands, taking a few steps back. She carefully detangles herself from her son and painstakingly gets up from the very low bed. She looks at him bleary eyed, pushes her unruly hair out of her face, then brushes past him out into the hallway.

He follows her, before he has time to consider his options in this scenario, into their bedroom. She pulls a small duffel bag out of her closet.

“Ellie.” He stands by the door, hands shoved in his pockets, watching her.

She throws some clothes into the bag, then pops into the ensuite.

“Stay here,” he pleads with her. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

She whirls back in, dumping her toiletries into the bag, then zipping it up. “I’ll pop by in the morning to see the kids. Lest you think you’ve been abandoned.”

He frowns at her. She breezes past him out the door.

“Beth will be on call,” Ellie says as she descends the stairs. “If you need her.”

“I can take care of my own bloody kids,” Alec complains, following her down.

“Oh, _n_ _ow_ you can.” She slips her shoes on.

“Ellie, come on.” He reaches for her arm as she opens the front door.

“It doesn’t make sense for me to be here at the moment,” she says evenly. “Best if I’m closer to the action, so to speak. Lucy shouldn’t be bearing this all on her own simply because she doesn’t have small children.”

“It’s only ten minutes more,” he argues.

She shakes her head. “This is what makes sense. Right now, anyway.”

Ellie looks at him meaningfully, then turns and steps out onto the porch.

“I love you,” he says, a quiver in his voice, but his volume loud enough to stop her.

She turns around, looks at him sadly, then says, “I love you too.”

Then she jogs down the porch steps and gets into her car.

She gets halfway down the road, far enough that she’s well out of sight, then she pulls the car over. She grips the steering wheel hard. Then she bursts into tears.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been a rough one. Thank you for reading, as always. See you next time.


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